Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Quentin Tarantino Remakes Sholay

Movie starts....

Dark screen....and the following quote appear in white

"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds always green"

Then a wide shot of a ruthless landscape of UP (Omkaara first shot location typu)..... then screen goes dark again and it comes alive with top angle shot ...(killbill climax lo lucy liu secretary trapping scene tyfu)...NO BG score watsoever....
There are two small elevations on that landsacape about 100m from each other....hiding behind one elevation is 4 bandits dressed in bandit attires.....
Then hiding behind the second elevation are Jai and veeru.....
and the camera settles on them....and Jai starts talking

Jai_____Do u know why they named this town rampur??

Veeru____long long ago this place was ruled by raja ram singh...so it got its name after him....

Jai_______who told u this?

Veeru____basanthi

(jai gives his deadpan smile.... and brings out a revolver into the frame)....

Jai____yeh chuthiyen Gabbar ke aur kitney chamchey bache hain

Veeru_____we took almost all the gang at that shoot out....i guess it would be below 10....

Now the camera focuses on the right side of Jais abdomen..its bleeding profusely....he sits in a way to hide it from Veeru....

Jai____U see that bridge there?? The plan is You cross it...I cover you then u get help so that we can finish this thing off n we go home n get laid....

Veeru____and wat would u do???

Jai_____someone has to cover u when u run towards that bridge....if we both run for it then who is gonna cover over axss...

Veeru_____U know that iam not that good of a runner....its u who is lean n mean.....its U I think who should go for the bridge....wat if they start running towards me and u miss the shot and I get caught....its a waste...

Jai hands over the binoculars to veeru and says....

Jai____check out the palms of those bandits....

Veeru takes the binoculars and looks at the bandits palms....

Jai_____wat did u see??

Veeru____By studying the lines of their palms I can tell u their life span of those mofos is pretty less n might end anytime sooner in an hour or two atmost....

they both burst into laughter

Veeru_____On a serious note they all have a similar tatoos on their palms...

Jai____exactly....here in Rampur all (Bleeps) (censored...Jai refers to a caste...a predominant upper caste in UP) mandatorily have those tatoos on their palms....

Veeru_____So???

Jai_____well....as u know tthey belong to upper caste and they r sort of managers in that gang....the running and hustling is not their cup of tea....

Veeru____who told u this???

Jai_____Basanthi....

Veeru____when

Jai_____when i was banging her in the back of her cart....

Veeru____mothr fcker (n the break into a fight playfully)

Veeru_____watever....Iam not confortable leaving u alone here.....death or life we shall be together....did u forget we are the last two heterosexual men in this world who would give their life for each other???

Jai_____Nothings gonna happen if u can get ur axss back here in time....and they are only four of them n i can defend them for days with this ammunition.....

Veeru_____No....U leave for the bridge and I will give u cover....

Jai_________its a deadlock....and like always theres only one solution

Veeru____Ohh the coin

Jai_________yess the lucky coin ....it always worked for us till now...remember the jai break n the train wreck....

saying this Jai asks Veeru to call.....Veeru like always calls for heads....

Jai tosses the coin....the camera again is placed to capture that scene from a top view....The coin is tossed in a slow motion towards the camera ...and the screen goes black again with only the coin flippin into the blank space.....

and then titles starts rolling....

Tarantinos 8th film....

S H O L A Y.... (with BG score of some soulful crooning by nancy sinatra or mohd rafi or some blues mujic by santana).....

And after titles.....

Chapter 1

The Jail Break :D

(Dialogues need to be improvised ...but i think he would definitely approach the movie and start it like this)
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