Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Quentin Tarantino Remakes Sholay

Movie starts....

Dark screen....and the following quote appear in white

"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds always green"

Then a wide shot of a ruthless landscape of UP (Omkaara first shot location typu)..... then screen goes dark again and it comes alive with top angle shot ...(killbill climax lo lucy liu secretary trapping scene tyfu)...NO BG score watsoever....
There are two small elevations on that landsacape about 100m from each other....hiding behind one elevation is 4 bandits dressed in bandit attires.....
Then hiding behind the second elevation are Jai and veeru.....
and the camera settles on them....and Jai starts talking

Jai_____Do u know why they named this town rampur??

Veeru____long long ago this place was ruled by raja ram singh...so it got its name after him....

Jai_______who told u this?

Veeru____basanthi

(jai gives his deadpan smile.... and brings out a revolver into the frame)....

Jai____yeh chuthiyen Gabbar ke aur kitney chamchey bache hain

Veeru_____we took almost all the gang at that shoot out....i guess it would be below 10....

Now the camera focuses on the right side of Jais abdomen..its bleeding profusely....he sits in a way to hide it from Veeru....

Jai____U see that bridge there?? The plan is You cross it...I cover you then u get help so that we can finish this thing off n we go home n get laid....

Veeru____and wat would u do???

Jai_____someone has to cover u when u run towards that bridge....if we both run for it then who is gonna cover over axss...

Veeru_____U know that iam not that good of a runner....its u who is lean n mean.....its U I think who should go for the bridge....wat if they start running towards me and u miss the shot and I get caught....its a waste...

Jai hands over the binoculars to veeru and says....

Jai____check out the palms of those bandits....

Veeru takes the binoculars and looks at the bandits palms....

Jai_____wat did u see??

Veeru____By studying the lines of their palms I can tell u their life span of those mofos is pretty less n might end anytime sooner in an hour or two atmost....

they both burst into laughter

Veeru_____On a serious note they all have a similar tatoos on their palms...

Jai____exactly....here in Rampur all (Bleeps) (censored...Jai refers to a caste...a predominant upper caste in UP) mandatorily have those tatoos on their palms....

Veeru_____So???

Jai_____well....as u know tthey belong to upper caste and they r sort of managers in that gang....the running and hustling is not their cup of tea....

Veeru____who told u this???

Jai_____Basanthi....

Veeru____when

Jai_____when i was banging her in the back of her cart....

Veeru____mothr fcker (n the break into a fight playfully)

Veeru_____watever....Iam not confortable leaving u alone here.....death or life we shall be together....did u forget we are the last two heterosexual men in this world who would give their life for each other???

Jai_____Nothings gonna happen if u can get ur axss back here in time....and they are only four of them n i can defend them for days with this ammunition.....

Veeru_____No....U leave for the bridge and I will give u cover....

Jai_________its a deadlock....and like always theres only one solution

Veeru____Ohh the coin

Jai_________yess the lucky coin ....it always worked for us till now...remember the jai break n the train wreck....

saying this Jai asks Veeru to call.....Veeru like always calls for heads....

Jai tosses the coin....the camera again is placed to capture that scene from a top view....The coin is tossed in a slow motion towards the camera ...and the screen goes black again with only the coin flippin into the blank space.....

and then titles starts rolling....

Tarantinos 8th film....

S H O L A Y.... (with BG score of some soulful crooning by nancy sinatra or mohd rafi or some blues mujic by santana).....

And after titles.....

Chapter 1

The Jail Break :D

(Dialogues need to be improvised ...but i think he would definitely approach the movie and start it like this)
Align Center

Rajusk Comedy post

Red Ravino786 "swasanredemsen" choodaganey Rajusk brother ki tana pata gnapakalu gurtochhayi anta. In his words

Ee thread choosthe naaku oka chinnapudu incident gurthu vachindi..

Appatlo Hyderabad lo Lamba theater famous...naa chinnappudu dosth..ippatki manchi dosth..okadu Bakery person unnadu..vaadu almost illiterate kinda lekka..kaani bakery items matram katthi laaga sesthad..

Vaadu oka roju vachi " arey mai Thel Maalish cinema dekha re, masth hai" annaadu

maaku samajh kaale...ee Thel Maalish cinema endi vaya ani..okati rendu rojulu tharuvatha atununchi pothunte ..poster kanapadindi..

Adi Thelma and Louise Movie ani...

CCDB Remake of God Father

Just KAAMEDY ki ...serious ga theeskokandi:D
Story expect sesinollu manasulo ettukondi:D
Casting


Don Corleone(Marlon Brando)___________KKD bedar(leader of PRP party in DB...sensible person....popular among DBers for giving health tips...rivals envy him for his popularity)

Micael Corleone(Al Pacino)___________Nani Bedar....(thakkuva posts esthadu...ekkuva observe setthad...just like michael...KKD main strength)

Sunny Corleone___________Bazooka (hot headed...temperamental...just like sonny..KKD gang)

Tom Hagen(Consigliori)_______Rajusk Bedar(experienced...calm...composed....matured...chief advisor to KKD)

Freddo___________Pavala(Sensitive...weak will not abuse in DB...KKD gang)

Peter Clemenza______Cycle Bedar.....Faithful to KKD and helps Michael in DBs

Capt. McCluskey(Corrupt NY cop)_____Corrupt CCDB MOD...kaiserzosei

Virgil Sollozo_________Edle bedar (opposition to KKD...wants to bring congi principles in DB)

Don Emilio Barzini ___________Guruji (opposition to KKD bedar main illain...mixed with sollozo to ban KKD gang..)

deniki mana Red Ravino786 brother post

Ecla nenu godfather gurinchi vinna till today soodaledhu ..
nenu soosina english movies forest gump, coming to america, titanic, anaconda, something special about marry, swasanredemson, bambi, alwin and chipmunks, finding nemo, ...till today theatre lo english movie soodaledhu

Elcamino:
guruji wats this movie "swasanredemson" ya.....

Ravino786:
some jail break bagundhi ..too cool swashank redemshun

Back to Story

Technicians

Dialogues_______SAVAGE,CHIVUKS


Music____MAVERICK( fullu death metal kummeyali)


Costumes______Hugoboss


Dances____Chiru_fan

Stunts_________Sagar

Casting____SACHIN


Editing___CCDB mods

Auditor____Tinku

Art Direction____Anand

Director of Photography_____Unorthodox


Story____Mario_Puzo

Screenplay_____Dhaarkaar

Producer______True Indian

Direction______ EL


Movie Starts with KKD bedar Opening a Thread to celebrate his 10000 posts....
fullu thread lo celebrations...Churu fan mama direction lo Theen maar icons.....
KKD bedar andhariki aa thread lo free health tips isthuntad....KKD bedar work lo busy undatam valla Rajusk and Bazooka dbers questions sadhivi offline lo KKD bedar ki messages edithey KKD bedar vacchi solutions septhuntad.....
Nani Bedar DBing ki kottha so akkadakkada ok apost esi ROM lo ekkuva sepu silent ga untaadu....



Elcamanio about Sri Krishna Devarayalu caste

krishnadevaraya dad is munnur kapu n mom is bheemavaram raju....so his caste is munnavaram kaju....first of its kind and so he became famous...

Elcamino Live with Swami Elcananda

Today in our show we are going to talk to the most controversial n popular saint in recent times sri sri elcananda ....he claims he is the real spiritual guru of swami vivekananda and all that u hear about paramahamsa being the vivekanandas guru is fake news....elcananda claims he is the most fofular hindu saint in world and he has an ashram everywhere including pandora....
Recently his sex tape with namitha caused a huge uproar in the nation with his devotees commiting suicide seeing him in such compromisng positions....he says the video is morphed....
He is planning to start a big crusade against Xtian conversions and he chose our program elcamino live to kick start his campaign....
so we are going to talk to him about everything....
lets welcome sri sri elcananda.....



Elcamino Live______ elcanada garu welcome to Elcamino live...where all caminos meet

Swami Elcananda_________

Elcamino Live______ Chaala aggressive ga unnaru...ee getup BG eti??

Swami Elcananda________crusader get up...dharma yuddham

Elcamino Live____ok...ikkada yuddham seyytaniki raledhu kaabatti aa karra ni pakkanetti ee chair lo settle avvandi....our first question...inni rojulu calm ga unna meeru sudden ippudu Xtian conversion pina padatam ki reason mee sex tape valla occhina bad name ni hype ni ee news tho cover sesey plan ani mee opponents claiming....mee samadhanam???

Swami Elcananda________dhenikina timing important...it has nothing to do with sex tapes....sachin tendulkar ni innirojulu double century kottaledhu mari monna endhuku kottav antey em septhadu??? but apart from timing there was ingo balamina incident

ElcmainoLive______which is???

Swami Elcananda________monnati varaku xtian conversion orgs were targetting underprivileged n unknowns...kaani recently they coverted a famour hindu poet n a lyricist n musician n my spiritual guru....aa dhebbaki naaku block iindhi...eeroju athanu tommorow wat??? nannu kooda convert sesthara??? andhukey ee dharma yuddham

ElcmainoLive______OMG antha pani chesara....inthaki aa musician n poet n lyricist n ur spiritul guru evaru???

Swami Elcananda____MM Keeravani

Elcamino Live______ayana telugu lo isthadu...meeru malayali ani seppukuntaru...mari elaa parichayam

Swami Elcananda_____any bhasha ...single violin...dats keeravani

Elcamino Live______inthaki ayana mee pina elaa impression create sesadu....was that his music???

Swami Elcananda_____No....athanu songs kooda rasthadu...he was a lyricist too...ayana mid 90s lo rasina oka paata maa jeevithanni subsequebtly maa bhakthula jeevithalani marchesidhi

Elcamino Live______maa audience kosam koddhiga aa literature inpisthara?

Swami Elcananda______thappa kunda

"Kappuko....yay...dhuppati ...yay...salesthey....ah ah
Koruko...yay....kaugili...gilesthey....ah ah....
bleep bleep bleep
swargam antey pina kaadhu kindhaney undhi soosukoooo...yay....

Elcamino Live______Swamiji u sure this song changed ur life n impressed u to accept him as ur guru

Swami Elcananda_____life changing song andi adhi....

Elcamino Live______maaku alaa anipichatam ledhey

Swami Elcananda_____salesthey dhuppati kappuko....manam regular chesey instinct reaction ni ayana aa paatalo cheppatam....

gilesthey kaugilinchuko....rasa spandhana kaliginappudu female bhakthuralani kougilinchukovala vaddha ani dilemna lo undeyvanni....ee line lo ayana saliki dhuppati elantidho rasa spandhana kaugili alantidhi ani seppi naa n naa bhakthula siggu n bidiyam ni okka dhebbatho fata fanchalu sesina mahanubhavudu.....

ayana seppinattu nadusukuntey swargmam bhumi meedhey soodochu ani cheppina sookshma gnani....

Elcamino Live______perspectives....

Swami Elcananda_____ejjactly....ayanni kooda convert sesarandi...convert sesaru....

Elcamino Live______So mee approach enti....meru kooda other orgs laaga conversion kurrolla pina padi kodathara leka ingo approach emina undha

Swami Elcananda_____Ledhu....memu vallaki valla bhashalo ney cheptham

Elcamino Live______antey meeru elli xtians ni hindus gaa convert sesthara

Swami Elcananda_____Ejjactly....kaani iam going to attack them in their own backyard....ekkadinundi iithey funds osthunnayo akkadey attack....USA n Europe n Pacific Nations....memu oka movement start seyyabothunnam....Hindu conversions...

Elcamino Live______But ela chestharu??? meeru kooda xtian conv orgs laaga convert iithey cash n milk n grocesries schemes edathara???

Swami Elcananda_____Cash n Milk schemes aa desallo workout avvavandi....mana desham lo basic necessities ki kashtam ga undhi kaabatti they r luring our hindus with cash .... so it wont work to convert already well todo xtians in western nations in to hindus with cash

Elcamino Live______so meeru em seyyabothunnaru

Swami Elcananda_____okkasaari kadupu nindi....bank lo balance untey meeru next em sestharu???

Elcamino Live______ummm....world tour esthanadi....

Swami Elcananda_____mee pindam....ok....meeru waste (and swamiji turns to our female correspondent and asks her)

Nuvvu seppamma ....nee dhaggara silli gavva ledhu refrigerator lo food ledhu...nenu neeku food konicchi extra ga oka 100$ isthey em sesthavu

Female Correspondent______elli fair n lovely n ponds powder n lip glow n makeup kit n hair straightener n hair curler etc kontandi...

Swami Elcananda_____ejjactly...show iina tharwatha o sari kanapadandi...avanni konsithanu

Elcamino Live______antey ??? meeru???

Swami Elcananda_____okkasari kadupunindinollaki next cosmtic pina manasu elthadhi....we are going to target that..and our target is to only convert woman from 21 to 40....vallu convert iithey valla families automatic ga avuthai

Elcamino Live______antey meeru western xtian adollaki ki fair n lovely konicchi hindus ga marusthara??

Swami Elcananda_____thamari shardham....makeup kit lu fair n lovely not enough to lure them to change religion

Elcamino Live______mari em seyyabothunnaru saami???

Swami Elcananda_____free breast implants....

Elcamino Live______wwat the XXXX (Bleep)

Swami Elcananda_____ejjactly....if they convert we will sponsor for breast enhancments....okkasari eppudina donation for breast implants ani google lo search seyyandi...enthamandhi abhagyurallu kanpadatharo ....mee kallu semarasthai...

Elcamino Live______Tit for Tat annattu

Swami Elcananda_____No...Kim kardhashian for keeravani

Elcamino Live______swamiji iam not an expert in religion but idhi sesthey Mimmalni hinduism nunchi tharimi dhobbutharu anukuntunna....

Swami Elcananda_____I dont care...crusade is not easy....but i hope i reach my goal

Elcamino Live______which is

Swami Elcananda_____100000 conversions in one month

Elcamino Live______antey 200000 breats...wow.... anyways we wish u luck with ur crusade....oka last question...out of topic but mee controversial sex video gurinchi...

Swami Elcananda_____adganadi....

Elcamino Live______meeremo face morphed annaru....kaani andhulo unna vyakthi tatoos kooda mee tatoos ki perfect resemblance...mari morping ela chesaru???

Swami Elcananda_____yes face is morphed...but naa face kaadhu namitha dhi...actual video lo undedhi shakeela....namitha ani morphing sesaru

Elcamino Live______wtf ...antey ???meeru ...nijangaaney??? aa video lo???

Swami Elcananda_____Sarvejana Sukhini Bhavanthu

elcmaino live soosthuney undandi every now n then....




Elcamino about creation of new castes

papi(another DB member)...u vulgar fella....
anyways papi ee kamma reddy brahmins kapu mala madhiga fights ekkuvavuthunnai plus 1000s of years nundi ee caste perlu same.. so abuse kooda same n boring ya...so i have an idea...we got to create new castes
kamma+Brahmin = kabra
brahmin+kapu=bapu
kamma+reddy=kaddy
reddy+kapu = repu
reddy+madhiga=readyiga
brahmin+mala=brala
reddy+kamma=remma
mala+kamma=mamma
madhiga+kapu=mapu

U know....we need new castes.

In response to above post, another DB member Kinga_Bonga posted

tamud kamma + kapu combination marchipoinattunaav
Kamma + Kapu = Kampu elaagundhi?

Elcamino about Santi Swaroop Caste

santhi swaroop caste people originally are from northern part of eastern coastal western pensinsula of southern india.....

their caste is "gomma" .... gonthuni nammukuni bathikeyvallu....

richard attenborough 1904 lo raasina caste n kampu vol2 lo its quoted "gomma lani chusi all india radio bhayadauthundhi" ...which means ekkada radio station kanapadithey akkada gommalu news sadhivesey vallu.... and from air they ventured into doordarshan and from their to tv9....
but ee rojullo vallaki kasi poindhi...pathi konkiska caste odu kooda news sadhivesthannadu....